


Playing Dressup

by gemini28



Category: Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 11:45:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4834121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemini28/pseuds/gemini28
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hysterical Dame is looking to have a very serious conversation with Problem Sleuth, but is promptly distracted by being extremely silly with her girlfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Playing Dressup

Hysterical Dame was a woman on a mission, one that she was determined not to be distracted from. It involved one Problem “A Problem” Sleuth, and she knew that if she allowed herself to be sidetracked in her attempt to get to him, something dumb and annoying would happen, and she would never get any work done. And that was completely unacceptable, especially right now.

Dame burst into Sleuth’s office, because of course the door was unlocked. She’s pretty sure that the only time it’s locked is when Sleuth actually needs to leave his office…Or when he’s actually in his office, which he doesn’t seem to be right now. Just to check, though, Dame walks inside and takes a quick look under the desk (a significantly less shitty desk than usual, this time there’s an actual proper board of wood on top!), but that proves to be a waste of time.

If Sleuth isn’t in here…Well, either he’s out, or he’s in one of the other offices, and Dame is determined not to rule anything out before she sees with her own eyes that Sleuth is completely absent from the building. Which would be annoying if that happened to be true, considering that he’d promised he’d be here. Ugh, Sleuth.

Her next target was Pickle Inspector’s office. She knew that even if Sleuth wasn’t there, there was a good chance that Inspector at least knew where he was, so she wouldn’t have to run around trying to find him.

Inspector’s office was, of course, unlocked as well. Does the door even have a lock? Dame doesn’t know, and has no intention of finding out as she opens it with a flourish, stepping inside. The seat at the desk is turned away from the door, but she can see just the barest tuft of blond hair over the top of it. Inspector is not nearly as good at hiding as he likes to think he is, what with his tallness attribute.

“Hey, Inspector? Have you seen Sleuth around, he and I’ve gotta have a little talk.” Dame approaches the desk, fully expecting to find Inspector passed out or completely pulled into some monotonous, boring task.

“Sorry,” Broad’s voice comes unexpected, and Dame jumps. “He’s not here right now.”

The chair spins around, and it is in fact Broad that’s sitting there, not Inspector. Dame blinks, and looks around as if she’d managed to miss Inspector somehow. It honestly wouldn’t be the first time it’d ever happened.

“Broad? Where’s Inspector? Or Sleuth?” Dame said, going over and sitting on the edge of the desk. As far as she knew, Broad was supposed to be back at their apartment, doing something or another thing with paperwork. A glance down at the papers on the desk showed not the haphazard scribbles that usually were involved in Inspector’s paperwork, but indeed the checkbooks that Broad had insisted on balancing. So that was one question answered, she supposed.

“Oh, they’re on some sort of stakeout. Inspector asked me to watch over the offices and their clothes while they were gone.” She nods over towards two seats over in the corner of the room, and on them are the recognizable hats and trench coats of Sleuth and Inspector, along with some other articles of clothing, and Dame doesn’t even know where to begin with them thinking it was a good idea to change in their offices.

“A stakeout? Ugh. I was hoping to talk to Sleuth about the money he borrowed from me.”

“Well, I’m sure that he’ll be back eventually. Maybe. I have no idea what sort of _shape_ hell be in, but, um. Dame?” Broad looks up, and immediately covers her mouth to stifle a few giggles.

Dame was leaning against the wall, wearing Sleuth’s trench coat, his hat held low against her eyes. The pose is immediately familiar to Broad, having seen it so many times from Sleuth, especially when he thinks he’s about to deliver a hardboiled line.

“Hey, there, pretty lady. You come around here for some hard sleuthing?” The fact that Dame managed to say that with a straight face just had Broad giggling harder. She looked so serious, really managing to capture Sleuth’s expression when he was trying to be particularly hardboiled.

“Oh, of _course._ I’ve been waiting, you know, you just have to help me!” Broad affects her best “swooning damsel” voice and daintily puts her hand against her forehead, leaning back in her chair slightly.

Dame walks over, and wow she’s really perfected Sleuth’s swagger that he puts on whenever he’s trying to deal with a new case. The resemblance is absolutely uncanny.

“Well, what seems to be the problem? I’m sure there ain’t nothing a good sleuth such as myself can’t fix!” Dame says, really laying it on thick and grinning broadly when instead of responding, Broad just bursts into giggles again. It takes her a moment, but eventually she pulls herself together enough to nod.

“Well you see, I’ve got such a secret, and I need someone to tell…” She stands, walking around the desk. Then she’s picking up Inspector’s jacket and hat, and with a flourish puts them on. Now it’s Dame’s turn to start laughing. Inspector’s coat fits her a little better than it does him, even though the hat continues to be comically tiny. “I’m secretly Pickle Inspector.”

“Haha- I mean, ahem, I never would have guessed!” Dame grins and takes Broad’s hand, pulling her closer. “May I say, you look absolutely stunning in that dress! Really brings out your eyes.” Broad giggled, and gently shoved at her shoulder.

“Flatterer.”

“You know it!”

They’re already standing well within each other’s personal space bubbles, so it takes very little movement at all for them to close that space and start kissing. Dame was not used to being the one pushed up against a desk, but she was not complaining at this new angle she got to experience. Broad was a very good kisser, which absolutely helped in making this the best thing ever.

They pull away after a long, long minute of kissing, breathless and more than a little flushed. Then Dame pulled the oddest face, a mixture of startled and horrified, and leaned away.

“…You know, I’m thinking we maybe shouldn’t have put on these things.” She says, taking off Sleuth’s hat and grimacing.

“Did you see Inspector? Because, well, um.” Broad gestures at all of Dame. “I will confess to having thought I had just been kissing Sleuth, for a moment there.”

“Yeah, you know, definitely not the smartest decision, to be wearing these.” She sighs dramatically, and then tilts her head after a moment, her smile coming right back onto her face. “But you know what is a smart decision, dearest Broad of mine?”

“Hm?” Broad was already removing the coat, and looked back to Dame before she finished. Dame wraps her arms around her waist, and leans in nice and close.

“The best decision would be to get rid of all these totally confusing clothes. And maybe a few more, if we’re already doing it!” She’s grinning and Broad, that brilliant, star of her life, seems to get what she’s suggesting right away. She absolutely adores this woman.

“Why, yes, that’s just about the best idea that I’ve ever heard of.” She smiles, wraps her arms around Dame’s shoulders, and with giggles already starting back up they get right back into it.

It is only fifteen minutes later, however, that they hear footsteps fast approaching. The two of them are only just able to get themselves decently clothed before Sleuth and Inspector- the real ones this time- burst into the room, clearly in the middle of an argument. They stop, though, pretty much the moment the Inspector spots Broad’s hair peeking over the edge of the desk.

“Broad? Hey, what’re you doin’ down there, you okay- Oh god, uh.” Sleuth had walked to the desk, and covered his eyes quickly, glancing away and trying not to blush _too_ hard. “Hey Dame. Nice seein’ you.”

“Sleuth, Pickle. Hi. ” Broad said, standing up carefully and feeling proud at how much she isn’t blushing. Dame is much quicker in getting up, pretty much vaulting over the desk and poking Sleuth in the chest with her finger.

“Problem Sleuth, you owe me _money._ ” She says, and it’s as much a statement as it is a threat.

“Well would you look at the time! I’d better get going! Nice to see you gals again, we must do this again- Bye!” And with that he’s running right back out the door, with Dame chasing after him. Broad doesn’t go after them just yet, and neither does Inspector. Though Inspector is giving her something of a judgmental look.

“P-Please tell me you didn’t have sex anywhere I-I need to touch.” He says, disapproval dripping off his every word. Broad just gives him a serene smile.

“We would have, except I’m afraid you and Sleuth interrupted.” She shrugs at him rolling his eyes. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I should really stop Dame from trying to get at his wallet. I’m very excited to hear how the stakeout went, by the way.”

And with that, she walks right towards the door, leaving Inspector to huff to himself about the state of his coat and office in general. 


End file.
